There’s an art to capturing just the right words to express the true spirit of a union. Yet so many people are intimidated by the process, so that’s why today we’re showing you how to write your own wedding vows.
Wedding Wire has put into words the very reason I founded The Art of Etiquette and why I feel so strongly that personalized vows are truly the heart of your ceremony and should not be overlooked for the seemingly more “fun” planning moments.
“I want a marriage more beautiful than my wedding”
– Wedding Wire
Your marriage is about two people who will be bound together for a lifetime. The flowers, the dress, the party are all merely icing on that beautiful cake you spent more than a few minutes contemplating. I want every couple to feel empowered to write their own vows without fear or self-judgment. And if the thought of writing them yourself makes you equal parts excited and anxious…then you’re in the right place!
Today, we’re sharing our best tips for how to write vows that sound like you and express your deepest affection for one another.
FIRST THINGS FIRST: DECIDE ON A FEW “GROUND RULES”
You and your beloved should decide on a few “ground rules” before you get started. Here are a few questions to consider:
- Will you write your vows together, or separately?
- Will you share them with each other beforehand?
- What will the tone of the vows be? Humorous? Romantic? Poetic?
- Will you make the same promises to each other, or will they differ?
As you think about whether to share or not beforehand, know there is no wrong answer. Some couples will leave the great unveil to the day, discussing in advance the general layout of what they love about their relationship, how that translates into vows and the length to ensure consistency overall. But, they will leave the final words to be felt and heard in the moment.
Others will welcome a more transparent approach, feeling more comfortable knowing what each is promising in advance. Sharing your vows prior to the big day further ensures that your vows are equal in weight, depth, and tone. And if this is the path you choose, don’t worry – even if you’ve heard your spouse-to-be vows to you once or twice before, hearing them on the big day will be just as special, if not more.
Either way you choose – in the moment or rehearsed – the important thing is that you are writing your vows and they will serve as a vital foundation for the future chapters in your life story together.