Match Your Values With Your Vows

Match Your Values With Your Vows

On your wedding day, you vows will reflect your values as a couple. Your vows, no matter the style you emulate, will match you as a person, and the relationship you’ve developed with your partner. Vows are about a meaningful connection, and there’s no one way to express them.
If this article was a Buzzfeed quiz, we’re sure it would be called “What kind of vows are you?”  with lots of cheeky questions. In lieu of a quiz, we’ve given lots of examples, descriptions, and prompts for a variety of styles of wedding vows, and we trust that you’ll know what fits you best.

STYLES OF WEDDING VOWS
PERSONAL, SENTIMENTAL & ROMANTIC

This is perhaps the most classic, traditional style of custom wedding vows. Wedding days are full of emotion, and it’s perfectly normal to feel romantic and sentimental when writing your vows(However, if this isn’t something you’re comfortable with, that’s ok! Our vow books are the perfect place to document vows you prefer to keep more private).

Example:

The Art of Etiquette founder Mellisa Trojak embraced the notion of LOVE LETTER WINE BOX ceremony when she married her husband. They were inspired by moments in their dating relationship when they had many great conversations over a glass of wine. It became a ritual for them to open a bottle that they loved and settle in for an evening of conversation. The wedding box ceremony was the perfect way to recognize those special moments and make their ceremony personal and sentimental. It also fit in perfectly with their Napa wedding.

Prompt:

  • What moment did you know you wanted to spend your life with this person?
  • What special rituals have you created as a couple?
FUNNY / PLAYFUL

If your relationship is full of laughter and silliness, your vows don’t need to be somber and stiff (although they are serious, they don’t have to be square).

Example:

We love this example we found via OFFBEAT BRIDE.  It’s playful, certainly, but we love what’s behind this playful vow: a commitment to know and understand your partner as much as you can, and to do everything you can to make them happy. What a lovely sentiment!

“I promise to give you half the cream cheese I would want on a bagel. I promise to under jelly your sandwiches but over toast them. But most of all I promise to work on this, on us. I promise to try. I promise to choose you and us and our family every day.”

Prompt:

  • What are your favorite quirks about your partner?
  • What are yours or their endearing pet peeves?
  • Is there anything about these that you’ve had to compromise on in your relationship, that’s brought you closer?
RELIGIOUS

Many couples find wisdom in the scriptures to use in their wedding ceremony. No matter your faith, you can choose to involve scripture in your vows or wedding ceremony to express your commitment and sentiments to each other.

Example:

A common scripture from the Christian tradition comes from the books in the bible. In the scriptures, while these don’t necessarily refer to romantic love, they do express the ideals of commitment and love that many people want to have in their marriage, which is why these (and other) verses are so popular.

“Two are better than one. For if they fall, one will lift the other up”Ecclesiastes 4: 9-10

And above all these put on love, which binds everything in perfect harmony.  Colossians 3:14

A common Jewish (and Christian) scripture reading comes from the Songs of Solomon 6:3:“I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine”.

Prompt:

  • What lines of scripture do you want to inspire your marriage?
  • If you have a different faith from your partner, what will you blend from each of your faith backgrounds?
CULTURE BASED

Weddings are a universal tradition, and each culture has developed their own beautiful, symbolic, and rich practices around two people pledging commitment of eternal love. Consider adopting a tradition from your own culture, or your partner’s culture.

We love the THE KNOT GUIDE TO WEDDING VOWS &TRADITIONS which is a fabulous guide for nearly every cultural wedding ceremony tradition you could think of. If you don’t identify strongly with a culture, you may find great beauty in borrowing or adopting a piece of another that resonates with you as a culture.

Example:

We love the Japanese wedding tradition of a sake ceremony. The ritual is called a San San Kudo, literally translating to “Three Three Nine Deliver”. Sake is immensely important in Japanese culture and carries historical and cultural significance. It harkens back to the time in Japanese culture when sharing sake carried weight as a formal bond, much like a handshake in Victorian times.

Here’s how it works:

Each partner drinks 3 sips from both sake cups, then offers sake to both sets of parents. The parents then take sips, making for a total of 9 sips, symbolically solidifying the bond between the families. This celebrates the new formed unity between the families.

Prompt:

  • What you might bring from your culture into your vows?
  • Are there traditions from another culture that’s meaningful or symbolic to you as a couple that you might want to adopt?
FAMILY-BASED

If this is your second wedding, you may be blending families together, making your union about more than just your twosome. This is a wonderful opportunity to include sentiments about how you’ll care for each other’s family as you come together. Whether your children are still young or grown with children of their own, blending two families always brings unique challenges, and of course, also requires

Example:

A wonderful trend we’ve seen in blended family weddings is a vow from the parents to the children. This is a time for the new stepparents to express to their new stepchildren how, in choosing their partner, they are also choosing the child for life. This is a wonderful opportunity to strengthen the bond with the child, and publicly declare love and commitment.

Prompt:

  • How will you incorporate your family into your new life together?
  • What are your promises individually and together to the children involved

 

If you’re considering writing your own vows, we hope this is helpful! Our personalized vow books are a lovely place to document your wedding vows. Plus, we even include a few practice sheets to help get the creative juices flowing and finalize your vows before you capture them in your book!  We wish you all the best as you put pen to paper to capture vows that truly reflect you as a couple!

SHOP VOW BOOKS

 

Vow Writing Tips For Couples





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